Choosing your best man sounds like an easy task to tick off the checklist as a groom-to-be. Men often have lasting friendships with buddies who they go way back. This best bro is your best man, because he’s seen you go through heartbreak and triumph, and he was there to either support you or call you out. Growing up together, the bond of your friendship has been tested and tempered by the years. You two have always been a dynamic duo.
On the one hand, there are grooms who choose a family member or relative, like a brother, cousin, stepfather, or uncle, to be their best man. After all, some families enjoy tighter relations than others. They’ve seen you grow as an individual and as a person, quite literally. You’ve always believed that blood is thicker than water, and that family always comes first.
Whichever the case – either a childhood best-friend or family member – anyone can take up the role of best man at your wedding. However, there are some grooms who encounter difficulty in choosing a best man. Here are some possible roadblocks when choosing a best man:
- You can’t let your long-time buddy down, but you’ve been closer to another buddy in recent years.
- You want to pick someone who has been a great friend for a long time, but you feel like your cousin has always been there for you since forever, too.
- You have a circle of friends who are all equally like brothers to you, and you can’t single out one person as your best man. It’s as if your best man has to be all of them or none at all.
These roadblocks can be resolved through closer introspection. Be honest with yourself and narrow down your options. A real buddy will be happy for you, best man or not. For starters, choose someone you can trust and rely on no matter the circumstances.
How to Pick a Best Man
A quick search on the history of having a best man at a wedding will probably lead you to an article by Mental Floss, which mentions how a best man historically functioned to help the groom get married, either by hook or by crook. The best man from these old days was someone who could protect the groom from angry townspeople. Even until the big wedding date, the best man stands beside the marrying couple as a sign of readiness and unwavering support towards success. The other qualities to watch out for when choosing your best man includes:
- He appreciates the significant role he has to play in your wedding.
- He welcomes the responsibilities of a best man with excitement.
- He relishes the opportunity to be in your corner and back you up at all times.
In following certain Filipino wedding traditions, it’s quite expected that wedding reception speeches are still part of the program, so it will also be great if your best man truly is someone you have known for a considerable amount of time, as they surely have a lot of stories to tell and a handful of feelings to express, if they can do so without breaking a tear.
After an emotionally touching or moving speech has been made, keep the wedding party popping and the energy flowing with some tips from the essential wedding reception sample. Whether you’re having a traditional wedding, a beach or garden wedding, or even an online at home wedding, your best man should always be present and prepared to help you out, especially during your actual wedding day. That being said, here are some questions to ask yourself when you’re unsure about how to pick your best man:
- Does your best man have basic organizational skills?
- Does your best man care about you getting married?
- Does your best man have public speaking skills?
As your best man, your guy has to have the organizational skills to setup your bachelor’s party. This includes communicating with your entourage, scheduling with everyone invited, and making all the necessary arrangements to throw you the most epic event as a final hurrah to singlehood. In a way, this also helps prepare your best man for greater responsibilities during your wedding day.
Basically, your best man serves to play the role of assistant to the groom, on-hand and waiting to put out any fires or attend to your immediate needs while you’re busy with photos and preparing for the ceremony. Need to gather everyone around? The best man shepherds the guests. Where are the rings? The best man should know who has them. And just like the bride’s maid of honor, the best man is always there to listen to the groom act all nervous and calm him down.
Your best man has to always have your priorities as a groom at the top of his to-do list. Like a handyman, he should be capable of fixing any untoward incident and extend a caring hand to assist with any wedding-related task. Need people to sign in this logbook? The best man can go from table to table and ensure that this is done. The reception party isn’t feeling the vibe? Maybe the best man can heat things up with the latest Tiktok dance challenge, right? The best man exists to do the things that ensure the marrying couple enjoys their special day.
It is the best man’s task to indulge the groom the same way a sidekick pledges his loyalty to the main character in a story. As it is your wedding day, you’re one-half of the leading characters, so when choosing your best man, it always helps to have someone who understands what a best man does. And a part of that is knowing how to put the spotlight on you during his speech. It’s your day, let all the emotions sink in. Your best man should know that.
Still Unsure About How to Pick a Best Man?
Choosing your best man shouldn’t be that difficult of a decision to make. Oftentimes, there should only be a handful of people that come to mind when thinking about a person who has always been there for you – other than your fiancé, of course. Narrow down the list by reviewing the guide questions we’ve presented. Is your guy a coordinator, handyman, and entertainer all rolled into one? Naturally, he doesn’t have to be all three – that might be asking too much. Just make sure you choose someone you can trust with your life and the family that you’re building. All your best man has to be is there.